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  A Pilgrim's Guide to the Grief Journey.  



  You can either:
1)) Access a pdf of the whole book by clicking here, or
2) Check out the Contents below to seek out particularly relevant sections.
3) Order a copy of the hard back book

Each section leads on to the next by clicking on the phrase 'Read More', and contains a spiritual Reflection, accompanied by a beautiful photograph. (This facility is not available on the pdf)

Vale of Tears is both an overview of grief and loss from the perspective of the person who has suffered, and wisdom for those who are seeking to come alongside them. It also explores many aspects of the heart of God Himself in relation to loss and mourning, and provides numerous devotional opportunities for drawing close to God. This book cannot fail to be of relevance to everyone at some stage in their life!

Ø Insights for those who have suffered loss
Ø Wisdom for those who are seeking to come alongside those who are experiencing loss
Ø Strategies to set the soul free from trauma
Ø Devotional prayers and reflections for every step of the journey
Ø Themes that extend far beyond from literal bereavement to embrace many aspects of grief
Ø An exploration of the heart of God in relation to loss and mourning.

  Click here to see the book cover; and here to order copies.
Contents of the Book:
Scroll through the contents below to access.
Each Reflection at the end of every individual section is accompanied by a beautiful photograph.
We hope that the picture will speak to you too. Please note that the PDF version is in plain text only.
Part One: The Valley of the Shadow

Patterns of Grief
Embarking on the Journey
The Disorientation Loss Brings
The Divine Anaesthetic
Searching and Pining
Sadness and Sorrow
Breaking Grief’s Isolation
Living under the Shadow of His Wings
Beyond the Sequence of Losses
Part Two: Facing the Reality of Grief
Knowing God
Faith or Presumption?
The Shock of Severed Hopes
Broken Relationships
When the Grief is all Our Own Fault
Shrinking Horizons
Changing Roles
Shock and Guilt in the Aftermath of Loss (i)
Shock and Guilt in the Aftermath of Loss (ii)
No Pit so Deep
Eleventh Hour Miracle?
Removing Trauma
Never too late to Grieve
Yielded Hearts and altered Perspectives
The Power of Letting Go
A Pilgrim Restored
Angelic Assistance
The Treasures of Darkness
Part Three: Approaching the Final Transition
Eternal Homecomings

Anticipatory Grief - The Gift of Tears
Anticipatory Grief - Saying Goodbye Ahead of Time
Making a Good Death
Part Four: Minimizing Grief’s Desolation

Expressing Grief and Loss

When Impatience sets in
The Power of Resilience
Bringing Rest to Troubled Souls
Too Many Choices
When the Grass Appears Greener
Wounds in the Household of Faith
Moving Beyond the Reef of Rejection
Handling dark Times: Tunnel Experiences
The Dark Night of the Soul
Part Five: Strategies For Resolving Grief
The Sacrament of the Present Moment

Harnessing Grief
Grief that inspires Creativity
The Power of Writing to Heal
The Power of Music to heal
The Blessing of Friendship
Ceremonies that facilitate Grief
Gratitude that Sustains
Part Six: Fallout from Grief
In the Immediate Aftermath

Who Suffers Most in the Aftermath of Loss?
Fallout from the Death of Children
Fallout for Children
Fallout from Divorce
Fallout from Relocation
Praying for Prodigals
The Hedge of Thorns
Coping with Redundancy
Coping with Retirement
Fallout from Controlling Church
Part Seven: Lending Our Strength

Coming alongside the Grief-stricken
Sharing Condolence
What if I put my Foot in It?
Is this Grief contagious?
Weeping with those who weep
Caring for the Carers
God Honours those who honour Him
Returning to Society and moving on again
Part Eight: If Grief takes Convoluted Paths

Resisting Anxiety

Resisting Pain-prone Reactions
Resisting Grief going Underground
Resisting the Stoic Approach
Resisting the Impulse to flee
Resisting making Contact with the Dead
Resisting the Temptation to Suicide
Resisting the Desire to take Revenge
Resisting the “But-what-ifs”
Resisting excessive Self-consciousness
Resisting Aftershocks
Part Nine: The Wider Picture
Escaping Grief’s Gravitational Pull

Never underestimate the Power of Prayer
Burden bearing in the Spirit
Sharing more of the Father’s Grief
When Grief and Deception Engulf Nations
Lest we forget
Prophetic Laments and the Power of Music
The Courage to keep going
Cultivating an eternal Perspective
Appendix One: Exequy (A Funeral Celebration )

Appendix Two: Praise Carts and Protective Mechanisms
  P Perfectionism
R Repression
A Addictions
I Identification and Idolatry
S Shame and Suppression
E Extremes

C Compensation
A Avoidance
R Rationalisation
T Tensions (The Neurosis of Grief )
S Substitution and Sublimination

Appendix Three: Important Considerations

  Living Wills
Living Compliments

Appendix Four: Antidotes to Grief

Appendix Five: Final Poems and Prayers


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