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Many stories have come down to us
concerning faithful Celtic saints like Columba, who were aware of
the precise moment when the Lord would send His angel to gather them
to their heavenly home. Some in our own day have been privileged to
know this too. All of us who love the Lord can look forward to the
moment when, inspired by the Spirit, the body releases a signal to
the other parts of our being to initiate the “transition” process
that will usher us into the presence of the Great Shepherd of our
souls.
May the realisation that the Lord is
watching over this final journey sustain us in the face of the
anxiety that so many associate with the dying process – especially
if it proves to be a long drawn out experience. Praise God for
welcoming hospices which provide warm and loving environments for
those who are no longer expected to recover. Here, at least, death
is not seen as the ultimate failure of the health care team.
In countries where life expectancy is
shorter – as indeed it was in our own nation until recent advances
in environmental health and medicine radically altered our
expectations – people learned from childhood how to grieve together.
For most people today, however, death is something that happens in
hospitals or hospices, surrounded by people who are specially
trained to deal with it.
Blessed though we are to enjoy
increased life expectancy today, this can also lead to complex and
grief-laden complications. Certain forms of modern medical care
undoubtedly militate against natural progression.
The fact that a goodly percentage of
us face the possibility of being caught up in a prolonged “dying
before death” phase is therefore another reason why there is a place
for grieving ahead of time. Saying goodbye in this way is less an
attempt to shut a relationship down than an important step to help
us enjoy our remaining time together. Such leave-taking is neither
“a denial of hope nor an acceptance of despair.”5 It can help us to
make necessary emotional and practical adjustments, and to accept
that grief often sets in from the very moment we realize that
something precious is coming to an end.
Another advantage of saying the “big
goodbyes” ahead of time is that we can do so before we, (or a loved
one), become incapacitated. Degenerative conditions such as
Alzheimer’s tend to make us forget how people were in the prime of
their life. It is often only if some remission occurs, or, after
they have died, that happier memories resurface.
The challenge is to remain sensitive
to how the dying person is feeling at a time when we ourselves may
be in much need of grace to cope. Dying can be such an intense
process that it encompasses every shade of human emotion, in which
case it is a kindness to enable people to have whatever measure of
control it is in our power to bestow, rather than rushing to take
away their independence. As Kenneth and Sarah le Vaux remind us:
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The dying need more
intensive loving care than a plethora of charts and monitor
screens, where privacy is at a premium and there are few
facilities for friends and family. The message needs to be
spelt out: it’s all about people – not machines! “Touch
time,” and, above all, attentive listening are, as ever, the
vital ingredients.6 |
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Reflect and Pray
Four-year old Corrie Ten Boom looked up searchingly into her
father’s eyes. “What is it like to die, Daddy?” she asked. “When we
go into Amsterdam,” replied her wise and godly Father, “when do we
buy the tickets?” “Just before we get on the train, of course,” she
replied. “Then in just the same way, the Lord will give us what we
need when we need it.”
Well before we reach the “last lap” it makes sense to give God any
feelings of grief we may still be carrying. If we are approaching
the climax of our earthly life without having seen the fulfilment of
all we have been hoping for, many of us may be left wondering
whether it is we who have missed the boat, or circumstances that
have made the realisation of our dreams impossible. Or we come to
realise that the Lord has fulfilled what He promised, but by a very
different route from how we had originally expected. |
Serif photo dvd |
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Just as it was Joshua rather than Moses
who finally led the Israelites into the Promised Land, and Solomon
who built the Temple rather than David, so it may fall to another to
complete what we have begun.
Moses and David could easily have succumbed to grief and resentment
at finding themselves unable to fulfil what they had set their
hearts on. To their credit, both men devoted themselves to doing all
they could to ease the way for their successors. Is there anything
the Lord would have you do in terms of making practical or emotional
preparations to bless those who will take on your work and mantle? |
