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  If Grief Takes Convoluted Paths
Part Eight
 

 

 

Resisting Anxiety
Resisting Pain-prone Reactions
Resisting Grief going Underground
Resisting the Stoic Approach
Resisting the Impulse to Flee

Resisting making Contact with the Dead
Resisting the Temptation to Suicide
Resisting the Desire to take Revenge
Resisting the but-what-ifs
Resisting excessive Self-consciousness

Resisting Aftershocks
 

  The tsunami-lashed Andaman and Nicobar Islands have suffered 9,500 aftershocks since the undersea earthquake on Boxing Day that sent giant waves crashing into the emerald green archipelago. News24.com  
 

Deadly aftershocks often follow hard on the heels of earth-quakes and tsunamis – and it can feel like this in grief, too. As the waves continue to buffet, all our instincts are to cry out, “Lord change our circumstances!” But since the Lord could have prevented whatever it was from happening, there may be better prayers to pray.

When loneliness and loss beat upon our shore, it is good to remember the many times when waves of love and blessing have swept our soul. By God’s mercy these good times will return, and sweep aside our present sadness.

If it feels for the time being as though we are being dragged along in the undertow of these waves – like someone opening their mouth at the wrong time and finding the ocean filling their lungs – we must somehow learn to ride them, just as a surfer catches the waves and uses their power to take them surging towards their destination. This is but another way of expressing my earlier image of throwing a jujitsu fighter by the force of his own charge.

If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink, Jesus invites (John 7:37). From the depths we cry out, “Lord I am battered and all but drowning – but Your word says Come to Me – and Your water is fresh and sweet to my soul. That is why I will pray, “Lord, come to my heart and change me,” rather than just “change the circumstances, please!”

This heartfelt prayer draws us into the silence of God – which is less loneliness than presence: an adventure waiting to be explored. How much better is this than storing up resentments, which at any moment can lead to make comments that are far better left unsaid?

Isn’t this what our souls have always been longing for? In this silent seeking, we join our hearts to millions around the world, and hear the echo of His surprising yet profoundly reassuring promises:

  He who loses His life for My sake will find it . . . Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for My sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Matthew 16:25; 19:19-20
 

Or as Jean Pierre de Caussade put it, “One often has more delight in finding refreshment anew than one ever had grief in its loss.”21

 
 

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Part Nine The Wider Picture
IT IS OFTEN when we are prepared to look beyond our own grief that the Lord ministers more powerfully through us. In a world where most people are looking out only for themselves, it blesses the Lord when He finds people who are eager to share the things that are on His heart. That is why we will move far beyond personal recovery in this section, to begin exploring things that are grieving His heart. Read More . . .
References
21 Jean-Pierre de Caussade. Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence. (2008) Baronius Press

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