If I were to ask you who suffers most in
the aftermath of loss, you might be inclined to assume it would be
people who were inseparable in life from their loved ones. After
all, is it not those with whom we share our deepest experiences, and
on whom we are most dependent, that we miss the most?
Immense beyond words though the loss
of our closest confidant undoubtedly is, those who have endured a
conflict ridden relationship often suffer still more. The fact that
there is no time left to put things right, or to develop better
memories makes the grief process still harder to bear.
It is important to understand the
legacy that guilt-laden relationships leave behind them. When the
person who has died, or separated themselves from us, only bestowed
love and praise grudgingly, they may well have been misusing these
intrinsically godly qualities to maintain power and control over
If challenged, they would doubtless
have been quick to deny that they were doing anything wrong – or to
claim that they were only doing it “for the other person’s good.”
The fact remains, however, that their
entire way of relating was profoundly unloving and un-Christ like.
The Lord hates it when we use power to belittle and depersonalise
All of us need to be careful on this
point, lest He has to go to extreme lengths to set His beloved
children free from such unfair impositions.
Lord, in Your name,
I resist and throw off all attempts
to straitjacket and control my life.
Forgive me, too,
whenever I make unfair demands on others,
or withhold love and care.
Grant me the insight and the opportunity
to put as many matters right as possible.
Refit and re-equip me for the next stage of life.
In the name of Jesus,
Who alone is perfect freedom, Amen.
serif photo dvd