|  | If I were to ask you who suffers most in 
			the aftermath of loss, you might be inclined to assume it would be 
			people who were inseparable in life from their loved ones. After 
			all, is it not those with whom we share our deepest experiences, and 
			on whom we are most dependent, that we miss the most? Immense beyond words though the loss 
			of our closest confidant undoubtedly is, those who have endured a 
			conflict ridden relationship often suffer still more. The fact that 
			there is no time left to put things right, or to develop better 
			memories makes the grief process still harder to bear.  It is important to understand the 
			legacy that guilt-laden relationships leave behind them. When the 
			person who has died, or separated themselves from us, only bestowed 
			love and praise grudgingly, they may well have been misusing these 
			intrinsically godly qualities to maintain power and control over 
			other people.4  If challenged, they would doubtless 
			have been quick to deny that they were doing anything wrong – or to 
			claim that they were only doing it “for the other person’s good.”
			 The fact remains, however, that their 
			entire way of relating was profoundly unloving and un-Christ like. 
			The Lord hates it when we use power to belittle and depersonalise 
			each other.  All of us need to be careful on this 
			point, lest He has to go to extreme lengths to set His beloved 
			children free from such unfair impositions.  |  | 
				
					| Lord, in Your name,
			I resist and throw off all attempts
 to straitjacket and control my life.
 
 Forgive me, too,
 whenever I make unfair demands on others,
 or withhold love and care.
 
 Grant me the insight and the opportunity
 to put as many matters right as possible.
 
 Refit and re-equip me for the next stage of life.
 
 In the name of Jesus,
 Who alone is perfect freedom, Amen.
 | 
			
			 serif photo dvd
 |