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  Fallout from Grief
Part Six



In the Immediate Aftermath

Who Suffers most in the Aftermath of Loss
Fallout from the Death of Children
Fallout for Children
Fallout from Divorce
Fallout from Relocation
Praying for Prodigals
The Hedge of Thorns
Coping with Redundancy
Coping with Retirement
Fallout from Controlling Church

  Marriage is a long conversation that is never quite long enough. Anon  
  If I were to ask you who suffers most in the aftermath of loss, you might be inclined to assume it would be people who were inseparable in life from their loved ones. After all, is it not those with whom we share our deepest experiences, and on whom we are most dependent, that we miss the most?

Immense beyond words though the loss of our closest confidant undoubtedly is, those who have endured a conflict ridden relationship often suffer still more. The fact that there is no time left to put things right, or to develop better memories makes the grief process still harder to bear.

It is important to understand the legacy that guilt-laden relationships leave behind them. When the person who has died, or separated themselves from us, only bestowed love and praise grudgingly, they may well have been misusing these intrinsically godly qualities to maintain power and control over other people.4

If challenged, they would doubtless have been quick to deny that they were doing anything wrong – or to claim that they were only doing it “for the other person’s good.”

The fact remains, however, that their entire way of relating was profoundly unloving and un-Christ like. The Lord hates it when we use power to belittle and depersonalise each other.

All of us need to be careful on this point, lest He has to go to extreme lengths to set His beloved children free from such unfair impositions.

Reflect and Pray
You, O God,
see trouble and grief;
You consider it
to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to You.
Psalm 10:14

Lord, in Your name,
I resist and throw off all attempts
to straitjacket and control my life.

Forgive me, too,
whenever I make unfair demands on others,
or withhold love and care.

Grant me the insight and the opportunity
to put as many matters right as possible.

Refit and re-equip me for the next stage of life.

In the name of Jesus,
Who alone is perfect freedom, Amen.

serif photo dvd

Fallout from the Death of Children
On this mountain He will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces;
He will remove the disgrace of His people
from all the earth.
Isaiah 25:7-8

Michael and Esther Ross Watson, a remarkable couple who spent many years ministering in Indonesia, experienced great tragedy when they attempted to adopt a child. While they were still in the process of going through the adoption process, she was taken from them and subsequently died. The next baby they were going to adopt also suddenly died – which completely devastated them. God had provided the room, the clothes and all the necessary equipment to welcome this child – yet suddenly the baby was no longer there – and the pain was overwhelming. Read More . . .
4 See especially Lake, T. Living with Grief. p.60. Sheldon Press.

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