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So (Elijah)
got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that
food, he travelled for forty days and forty
nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of
God. There he went into a cave and spent the
night.
And the word of the Lord came to him:
‘What are
you doing here, Elijah?’
He replied, ‘I have
been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty.
The
Israelites have rejected Your covenant,
broken
down Your altars,
and put Your prophets to death
with the sword.
I am the only one left,
and now
they are trying to kill me too.’
The Lord said,
‘Go out and stand on the mountain
in the
presence of the Lord,
for the Lord is about to
pass by.’
(1 Kings 19:8-11) |
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God is looking for a
people through whom He can challenge His enemies. In
Elijah He had found such a man, but even this ‘giant of
faith’ needed to be reminded that it was not by might,
nor by power, that he could bring about any lasting
change in the country.
Unlike most of us, who become seriously off-balance if
we stray too far from the body of Christ, Elijah, like
all true prophets, had to obtain his reassurance
directly from the Lord. The food God had provided gave
him the strength to make the journey to Mount Horeb,
where he would experience a fresh encounter with his
Lord. This was no ordinary walk on the wild side. This
was to be a forty day pilgrimage to the mountain, and
even, some say, to the very cave where God had revealed
Himself to Moses.(1)
In those far-off days, no caravan tours wound their way
through the desert to make Mount Horeb a shrine of
pilgrimage. So far as we know, Elijah was the first
visitor in centuries. There could be no place on earth
more associated with the presence of God than Mount
Horeb. This was where Moses had seen the burning bush,
and had been given the Law after his epic sojourn alone
with God.(2)
As he made his way through the wilderness, Moses must
have constantly been in his mind. Had that great servant
of the Lord ever been able to forgive himself his
outburst of frustration, which had consigned the former
prince to a forty year sojourn in the wilderness?
Weaknesses exposed are not necessarily weaknesses
overcome. It was to be another outburst of temper, forty
years later, which deprived him forever of the chance of
entering the Promised Land.(3)
Hope surged through him as the famous mountain loomed
before his eyes. Surely it would be here, where Moses
had struck the rock that yielded a miraculous supply of
water, and where he had lifted up his hands and prayed
while Amalek was defeated, that God would draw close and
deal once and for all with the menace Ahab and Jezebel
posed to the nation?(4)
The Lord was longing to blow away the doubts and sorrows
that had filled His servant’s mind, but there were
implications about the flight from Jezreel that Elijah
still needed to face. That is why this most precious of
encounters began, not with an embrace, but with a
challenge. The Lord was determined to undo the damage
striving was causing in Elijah’s life.
After a night in a cave, the Lord met with His servant –
but not at all in the way he might have hoped for. The
encounter came in the form of a searching question:
‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ If Elijah had been
looking for a pat on the head, and to be told that he
was doing a wonderful job, then the Lord’s question must
have pierced him to the heart. What was he really doing
here? Had he come all this way at God’s leading – or
merely because he was running away from Jezebel?
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We may well imagine that
it had taken Elijah the full forty days for the despair
in his heart to ease. If the Lord waited so long to put
this question, then it was because He knew that it was
only now that Elijah was ready to hear it. The Lord
holds back until we are strong enough to face such a
challenge. The way in which Elijah parried the Lord’s
question (by insisting that he alone had been faithful)
might indicate that Elijah was in danger of making an
idol out of his faithfulness.(5) Given the sorry state
of the nation, and the traumas he had been through, it
is hardly surprising that Elijah had persuaded himself
that this was the case. He was much mistaken, of course
– just as we are when we begin to suppose that we are in
any way special.
An Encounter of Holiness
Rather than assuming that Elijah had become a touch
complacent in his role as Prophet Number One, there is
an altogether kinder way to interpret this episode.
Elijah’s heart-cry is strikingly similar to the despair
Habakkuk would one day feel over the state of the
nation. Like all true prophets, Elijah and Habakkuk
spoke not only to the people on behalf of God, but to
God on behalf of the people. Both shared a deep concern
that the Lord did not appear to be doing anything. Both
had to be shown that God was, in fact, doing a great
deal.
Consider, too, those glorious moments when God met with
Moses in the burning bush, and when Joshua encountered
the leader of the Lord’s armies immediately before his
decisive battle against Jericho.(6) These mighty
encounters took place in solitude, for God takes
advantage of such times to make us face challenges we
would otherwise run from.(7) Elijah discovered, like
Moses and Joshua before him, not that God was on his
side, but that he must be on His.
There is a type of Christianity that never progresses
beyond rejoicing in being forgiven. Good though it is to
celebrate, endless celebration can, paradoxically,
become an excuse for not facing God’s more searching
challenges. Even our Christian service can then become a
subtle form of evasion.5
When God probed Elijah’s motives, He found them sadly
lacking. It is an unfortunate fact that our vices are
more habit-forming than our virtues: they are easy to
catch, but hard to break. No surprise, then, if the Lord
has to use hammer and chisel to bring about that
humility which enables us to inherit the kingdom of God.
There come times when the Lord puts His finger
on actions and attitudes we might have been
content to pass over in silence.
We are pulled up short, not only for the things
we have done, but equally for matters we have
failed to attend to.
Above all, the Lord convicts us of the lack of
compassion and humility we have shown to
virtually everyone we have been in contact with. |
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Just as wreckage that has long lain on the sea bed is
exposed as the tide recedes, so these times of challenge
expose wrong attitudes in our hearts. In a sense this is
pure mercy. How will we know if we can face loss with
equanimity, and misunderstanding with trust and
graciousness unless we are put to the test?
In His loving wisdom, God has to puncture our
self-delusions. He asks us questions that reveal
the sins that lie half-buried in our
self-centred hearts. It can be painful beyond
words when these things are exposed. I, for one,
usually find it easier to withstand purely
external adversity, rather than to suffer in the
full knowledge that it has come about through my
own silly fault. |
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Grandiose plans that are undergirded by
insufficient humility come to a sticky end. Errors of
judgement entail consequences which cannot always be
avoided. But God is continuously checking and monitoring
our response, to see whether His chastisements are
bringing about the necessary repentance in our hearts.
These are the critical junctures in our lives. The Lord
sees the inherent pride that hinders many of us from
being willing to retrace our steps, and that shrinks
from having to accept the inevitable loss of face. Yet
if we stubbornly try to hold on to the way things were,
we risk losing all.
To realise that many of our motivations are depraved and
distorted is a necessary stage in the process of
sanctification. To dwell too long in this place of
self-discovery, however, would be dangerous. We might
find ourselves inadvertently agreeing with the Accuser
of the Brethren that we really are worthless! Since we
have a High Priest who sympathises with our weaknesses,
we must be prepared to face our many failures and
foibles – but then move on beyond them.
The ability to show mercy (to ourselves as well as
towards others) is one of the fairest fruits of intimacy
with God. If we pressurize ourselves, or others, into
parroting platitudes of faith, the heart will remain
unconvinced. Worse, it may become rebellious, and learn
to perform for the approval of others. All this is far
from the true freedom God has in mind for us.
It is comforting that even when we do fall into
wildernesses of our own making, the Lord will still go
out of His way to woo us back to the path of faith and
duty. As the angel of the Lord found Hagar in the
wilderness, so for Elijah too, there would be an
encounter in the desert.(8)
A Burnt-out Burden-Bearer
Elijah’s difficult task had been to plough up the
hardened soil of a spiritually deceived generation, and
make the people aware of the imminence of God’s
judgement. Perhaps he secretly nursed unrealistic
expectations that the leaders of the nation would
convert immediately back to the God of their fathers in
the aftermath of the victory on Mount Carmel. No sooner
did his thoughts return to the grievous state of affairs
in Israel, than a feeling of gloom settled on him again.
As we have seen, God did not reproach Elijah for this.
True, He did point out that there were still seven
thousand faithful souls in the land who had not bowed
the knee to Baal, but even then He did not rub Elijah’s
nose in the fact. The Lord understands the peculiar
pressures that burden-bearers face.
When a sensitive man or woman feels the pain of
a hurting person, or society, but sees no way in
which to discharge these feelings, it is hardly
to be wondered at if they find themselves prone
to illness, and susceptible to myriad
addictions. Mind and body overload in the search
for relief from a pain they are unable to
express. |
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Such people often go to great lengths to avoid
confrontation, smoothing over issues that needed facing
up to. Alternatively, they adopt a martyr’s stance,
heavily overlaid with self-pity. They become, in Loren Sandford’s memorable words, ‘peace-makers in the flesh.’
If we are not willing to share our inner hurts with
those who are close to us, then we cause them to suffer
doubly, not only because of we have a problem, but also
because we are not sharing it with them. If we do not
know where the real issue lies, the chances are that our
wife, husband or friends already has a pretty good idea!
To coin a proverb, ‘Honesty solves problems, but
touchiness repels’. We might not be inclined to rank
over-sensitivity as one of the greater sins, but how can
you work with a devious or an insecure person? It is
exhausting! It is hard to love such people back to life,
because as soon as you offer the slightest suggestion,
no matter how lovingly, they retreat into their shell
and begin to bristle. Lord, help us not to be so touchy!
Overcoming Satanic Strategies
The devil does not give in easily. Previously, he
had been desperate to persuade Elijah that he had
reached the end of the road. Now we find him adopting a
new ploy. There are few more successful avenues for the
powers of darkness to exploit than stirring up the
bitter-sweet pangs of self-pity. Counterfeiting the
tenderness of God, Satan would have been at pains to
sympathise with Elijah. How awful that he, who had been
so faithful to his God, should find himself so neglected
now!(9)
The powers of darkness do not normally have much
difficulty in making us critical. We are quick to find
fault with others, easily mistaking our prejudices for
maturity. More than ever we need to watch our tongues.
Just as we stressed earlier, regarding the matter of
God’s provision, how essential it is to avoid the
‘but-what-if’ syndrome, so we must also sound a warning
against those endless ‘buts’ which gush from our mouths.
We do it so automatically, qualifying our statements to
the point where it sounds as though even our blessings
are a problem! Worse, we add disclaimers to our simplest
comments about people, all but ruining their reputation
in their absence.
If criticism kills, then kind words, and appropriate
actions, have the opposite effect. If we will seek the
Lord, He will show us ways to love and serve those whom
we are most tempted to criticise. After all, even if
unjust accusations are coming our way, doesn’t God know
many worse things about us than we are actually being
accused of?
If our love for the Lord, and His Body, the Church, has
become clouded with ambition, and our hearts filled with
condescending and judgmental thoughts, it matters not
that our mind teems with schemes and bright ideas. Our
condition will not be helped by a diet of more
blessings, for these might merely serve to confirm us in
our deceitful contentment. Thus, those of us who claim
to know so much about the Lord can still be riddled with
pride and many other wrong desires. We can be sure of
this: we are in line for the challenge of the Lord!
Perfectionism: A Faulty Model
If some are eager to exercise power to satisfy their
own desires, there are others (including many outwardly
successful people) who are plagued by nagging feelings
of inadequacy. Typically, these were children who grew
up feeling they were not important, and that their
parents had more important things to do than to be with
them. Children who are praised flourish, whilst those
who are constantly criticised and compared with others
are easily crushed, unable to perform to the impossibly
high standards expected of them.
Many apparently spiritual struggles aren’t really
spiritual at all, but come from damaging feelings of low
self-esteem. Condemnation hovers around such people like
the smog over Athens – until the grace of God chases it
away.
A few timely words of encouragement can go a long way to
spur us on.(10) What we must not do, of course, is to
try to derive all our security from other people. If we
have programmed ourselves to believe that we are not
acceptable, it is too much for any human person to
convince us of the opposite. Better by far to ‘forgive’
God for making us the way that we are, and to expect
right and realistic things from each other. Otherwise we
will find ourselves withdrawing from people and becoming
increasingly isolated and alienated.
If we find ourselves beginning to wonder whether the
Lord could not have arranged this or that detail better
on our behalf, we are embarking on a slippery slope.
Once we mistrust His plan, we soon begin to entertain
doubts about the Planner Himself.
It is a flawed theology to say, ‘Well, I know God
loves me, but I just can’t live with myself.’ We
must be careful. We are speaking against someone whom
God has cared for lovingly, provided for abundantly, and
planned for perfectly, Is that honouring? Or fair?
For most of us, it is not a sudden experience that will
right this imbalance, so much as a daily living out of
the truth of God’s Word. To a large extent, how happy we
will be depends on the depths of our gratitude, and the
state of our inner thought life. ‘For as a man
thinketh in his heart, so he is.’(11)
This is not a position we will necessarily reach easily.
We often spiritualize the process of self-belittling
that goes on so laboriously in our mind, and give it
some suitably pious name such as ‘The work of
Sanctification,’ or ‘Self-crucifixion.’ It would often
be nearer the truth to accept it is just a lack of basic
trust.
It is hard to worship a God who, as we perceive it, is
never satisfied with us. Inward guilt makes us feel we
must always try hard to be acceptable – but we fear in
our heart that we never will be. A sense of divine
disapproval hovers over us, which, inevitably, we
transmit to others. Even if we preach all the doctrine
right, something comes across in our manner as being not
quite right.
Perfectionism is a counterfeit of intimacy with God,
because it makes us focus more on what we feel we
‘ought’ to be doing, instead of getting on with what we
actually can do. It deceives us into supposing that if
only we were to do this or that, then God will accept
me, and everything will fall into place. It is a
striving after the wind.
The worst thing about perfectionism is the anger that
lies just below the surface. Apparently holy (or placid)
people finally rebel against the ‘oughts’ they feel God
has imposed on them, and resent their failure to be the
kind of person they thought they ought to be. Such anger
is not objective reality of course; it is directed
against the caricature of a disapproving God their own
perfectionism has concocted.
God is passionately concerned about justice, but
perfectionists become obsessed with it. We must learn to
face this anger, and so come free of its pernicious
influence. Otherwise we fall into denial, denying that
we are angry, because ‘a good Christian would never lose
his temper.’
Perfectionists are hard to live with, because the model
they are following is a faulty one. You can normally
recognise those who are caught up in it by their violent
mood swings. These are disconcerting precisely because
you never know what to expect when you meet them. If
these less readily acknowledged sins are not faced, our
children risk growing up subconsciously believing that
God is as unpredictable, irrational and unreliable as we
have been.
The desire to be a ‘Super-Christian’ dies hard, and
perfectionists become easily dispirited through apparent
failures. For the truth is that some issues we care
about deeply will not resolve in the way that we had
hoped. Even Paul and Barnabas ‘agreed to disagree,’ and
found themselves unable to work together for a season.
| Sometimes we may have to battle against the dark cloud
of depression. Most Christians have little understanding
about depression, partly, perhaps, because they suppose
it is something no Christian ought to suffer from. It is
easy to assume that we are doing well if we do not
happen to suffer from it ourselves – but this may be
more a reflection on our temperament and constitution
than any real indication of our spiritual maturity. The
Psalms are much more realistic about our times of
despair than most Christians are – and they have been a
great comfort for sufferers through the centuries.
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The first thing to stress is that depression does not
always root back to a specific sin. It may have a lot
more to do with our personality structure, emotional
history or simple body chemistry. Neither is it
necessarily a sign of spiritual failure. Sometimes, as
for Elijah, it is ‘kickback’ following some great
spiritual success.
Since it is the grace of God which puts an end to the
perfectionist’s perpetual sense of guilt, let us pray
for the Lord to set us free of the cancer of
perfectionism, so that we can enter in and enjoy His
grace. His tailor-made yoke will suit both our
personality and our particular calling.
God loves to achieve great things through weak people –
so let us give Him the opportunity to do so! William
Carey, the first Protestant missionary to India, wrote,
‘Expect great things from God, and attempt great
things for God.’ Why deny the gifts the Lord has
given us? Why go back on the vision He has given us?
Don’t let the desires that God has placed within us be
wrecked by Satan’s propaganda machine. Jam his
wavelengths, believe the opposite, and refuse all fears
and doubts!
David Seamans suggests that we should ask God to check
us every time we begin to belittle ourselves.(12) Since
this process may occur far more often than we realise,
it will take serious resolve to put this exercise into
practice. It will involve learning to receive the
utterly undeserved, but freely given, grace of the Lord.
Reflections
In the course of the average day, over 12,000
thoughts pass through our mind. I wish more of mine were
of any eternal value! It is well worthwhile examining
the subjects (and the objects) to which our imagination
returns again and again. Do they glorify the Lord, or do
they merely lead to insatiable cravings which reduce our
capacity to be open to the promptings of the Holy
Spirit? Amy Carmichael wrote, ‘Beware what you set your
heart on, for it shall be yours.’ Are not so many of our
words likewise designed merely to impress others?
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Pray and meditate on these words of the Psalmist:
‘Set a guard over my mouth,
O Lord, keep watch over the
door of my lips;
Let not my heart be drawn to what is
evil.’ (13)
Listen, too, to the heartfelt appeal of
the writer of the book of Ecclesiasticus.(14)
‘O for a
sentry to guard my mouth, and a seal of
discretion to close my lips, to keep them from
being my downfall, and to keep my tongue from
causing my ruin! Lord,
Father and Ruler of my
life, do not abandon me to the tongue’s control
or allow me to fall down on its account.
O for
wisdom’s lash to curb my thoughts and to
discipline my mind without overlooking my
mistakes or condoning my sins! . . .
Many people
have been killed by the sword, but not so many
as by the tongue.’ |
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Selah
Thank You, Father, for being so long-suffering with us.
Lord, we welcome Your challenge. Forgive us when we
mistrust You, and lash out at people who would do us
good. Forgive us that we are so intolerant, and so quick
to defend ourselves. Show us those attitudes which need
to change – and grant us strength to overcome them. Help
us to speak words that build people up, and which
release Your blessing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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