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May the gods
deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this
time tomorrow I do not make your life like that
of one of them.’ Elijah was afraid and ran for
his life.
(1 Kings 19:2-3) |
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In his public and
prophetic life, Elijah appears such a giant of a man
that it is easy to forget he was a man of like passions
to ourselves, and therefore every bit as susceptible to
discouragement as we are. Accustomed as he was to the
silence of a withdrawn lifestyle, it had cost Elijah a
great deal of emotional energy to spend a whole day
defying the crazed and demented prophets of Baal. Now,
like a weary kangaroo, he was ‘out of bounds,’ and ready
to give in.
Knox translates potently what happened next. ‘Elijah
took fright and set out upon a journey of his own
devising.’ During his stay by the brook Cherith, and
again in Zarephath, Elijah had at least been able to
comfort himself with the thought that it had been God
who had placed him there. It is a hundred times more
humbling to find ourselves in a wilderness of our own
making!
Jezebel’s challenge had shaken Elijah to the core of his
being. One woman’s threats achieved what the combined
might of the prophets of Baal had failed to do: to
remove him from the stage. It is a tragic sequel to a
day that had begun outstandingly well – and a powerful
reminder of how surprise can lead to shock, which in
turn can lead to flight.
The Neurosis of Faith
Those who have never experienced any real shock, let
alone the pangs of anxiety, may have difficulty relating
to this episode in Elijah’s life. But whether or not
Elijah’s extreme weakness at this time has any immediate
application in our own life, I believe we can learn
valuable lessons about the way shock works by studying
his brief collapse of trust.
To be on the front line for the Lord means receiving
many blows and woundings from the rulers of this present
world. When we lose loved ones, or our health, work or
ministry take a turn for the worse, it is no wonder if
our mind races as we struggle to come to terms with the
unthinkable.
Neither does it necessarily take anything so radical as
the loss of a partner, or a job, for our mind to cross
over the boundaries into shock. Any form of loss or
change may cause this to happen, especially if a number
of different pressures come our way at the same time.
Perhaps if we were more aware of the multitudes who lie
awake at night in prey to anxious thoughts, then our
hearts would be more compassionate. Fear of failure,
fear of rejection, fear of the future, fear even of what
God Himself will ask of us . . . These are giants that
only grace can assuage and faith finally slay. |
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Unpleasant though the outward symptoms of anxiety are –
the shallow breathing, heart palpitations, stomach
aches, sudden bursts of cold sweat and shaking – they
are ultimately less pernicious than the way in which
shock can paralyse our trust. Just as the body takes
time to heal after an injury, so we must give ourselves,
and others, the grace and space in which to adjust and
recover.
Coping with Shock
The first and all-important step is to realise when
we are at risk. To live with unacknowledged shock in our
system (or repressed grief for that matter) is as
potentially dangerous as holding unexploded gelignite in
our hands. If we are not bringing our wounded emotions
into the healing love-light of Jesus, there is a
constant risk that circumstances may cause us either to
explode, spiting others in the process, or to implode,
pushing us deeper into ourselves. Honesty, with
ourselves and with the Lord, can cure anything. The
second thing to hold on to, therefore, is our confidence
that He can handle our problems!
Satan had played his master stroke, and it had hurt
Elijah deeply. But as another prophet cried out, ‘Do
not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I
will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my
light.’(1)
The Lord is not angry with us if we feel disheartened,
or when our confidence collapses. The apostle commands
us to ‘Be merciful to those who doubt.’ (2) We
must apply this principle to our own lives too, and be
gentle as we would wish others to be with us. If we are
too hard on ourselves, we will merely intensify our
feelings of alienation, and effectively condemn
ourselves to respond in the same way again when a
similar set of circumstances comes our way.
Even though our background and spiritual sense of
responsibility may make it hard for us to admit how we
are really feeling, this is no time to adopt the stiff
upper lip. What we pray at such times may sound as
hopelessly untheological as Elijah’s cry to be allowed
to die, but the fact that we are pouring out our heart
to God is important. At the end of the day, God honoured
Job, who protested loudly that human sinfulness is not
the only reason for our suffering, rather than his pious
companions, who set out to comfort their friend, but who
ended up wounding him with wrongful accusations.(3)
If the line between self-pity and a genuine heart cry is
sometimes a fine one, the Lord errs on the side of
generosity. Just as we encourage our children to share
their hurts and troubles with us, so it is good for us
to pour out our heartfelt feelings to the Lord. We are
not backsliding, we are hurting, and God understands
hurt. If we need to tell the Lord the same thing over
and over again, then let us not be afraid to do so. This
is not idle repetition: it is a necessary stage in
taking the healing process from head to heart. The Lord
is with us, and He will not get tired of hearing our
cries.
It pays to learn from experience which attitudes and
actions help the recovery process, and which hinder it.
For while certain types of company, and activity, may
help to draw us closer to the Lord, others will distract
and distance us from Him.
We are not backsliding if we need to concentrate on less
demanding pursuits and engagements for a while. To add
the strain of additional responsibilities at a time when
we are already emotionally overstretched is rarely wise.
We are better off taking plenty of rest, and steadying
ourselves with soothing truths and undemanding friends.
Books and music that will comfort and restore our
spirits will also help, as will plenty of fresh air, and
busying ourselves with practical tasks.
Be assured that your experience is not unique. Countless
Christians have been through the sort of crisis that
Elijah experienced, and can testify how the Lord has
used these times of surprise and shock as a means of
leading them to know the Lord in a deeper way.
While we are in that first stage of heart-pounding
shock, however, it is all too easy to press the panic
button, and to make impulsive statements and decisions
that we will later rue. Our first reactions are rarely
mature ones, any more than Elijah’s were in this
instance. We do well to bear in mind that ‘He that
believes shall not make haste.’(4)
If at all possible, avoid taking irreversible steps; now
is rarely the best moment to make life-changing
decisions. At all costs beware that festering
over-introspection, which tries too hard to pin-point
the reasons for what we are experiencing. Since these
may only become clearer to us with hindsight – at all –
peace will come more through yielding than by demanding
answers. His presence will not fail to be with us day by
day while we wait for clarity to come.
Riding the Waves
In earthquake zones the danger of aftershocks are
well-known. It is much the same with human and spiritual
shakings, as shock waves return again and again,
threatening to engulf us. Let me share something I have
found helpful in combating the onset of these horrible
emotions. When I am aware of the first stirrings of
shock and anxiety rising in my heart, I try to convert
their strongly negative power into a fervent prayer that
affirms the opposite of whatever it is that is being
suggested.
The secret is to catch the thoughts, rather like a
surfer, who needs to ride just ahead of the crest of the
wave. If the surfer gets the timing wrong, the waves
will roll over and submerge him, just as these emotions
threaten to swamp us. But if we ride the waves, we can
harness their power in prayer to accomplish more than if
they had never come our way.
I hate shocks every bit as much as anyone else. Yet I am
forced to recognise that my own life, like that of the
wider Church, has grown as a result of pressure. The
Lord works in mysterious ways to transform our griefs
and disappointments into His ‘appointments’ as we cry
out to Him. He knew exactly what he was doing when He
brought us into His Kingdom, and He knows where He is
leading us! Like the Psalmist, we will be able to
testify, ‘When anxiety was great within me, Your
consolation brought joy to my soul.’(5) |
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Reflections
Take to heart these words Sir Thomas More
penned, as coming from the Lord: ‘Pluck up thy
courage, faint heart . . . for I myself have vanquished
the whole world, and yet felt I far more fear, sorrow,
weariness, and much more inward anguish too, when I
considered My most bitter passion.
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But thou,
now, O timorous and weak silly sheep, think it
sufficient for thee only to walk after Me, which
am thy Shepherd and Governor, and so mistrust
thyself and put thy trust in Me. Take hold of
the hem of My garment, therefore.’
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Selah(6)
Thank You, Lord, that You understand when we are knocked
off-balance.
I ask You to help all who are suffering
today from the after-effects of any kind of shock: from
accident or disappointment, from bereavement or
bewilderment.
Be with each one, dear Lord, and send them
Your comfort in the way that will best minister to them.
Free them from the after-effects of all their shocks.
Restore their heart to love and trust, their mind to
think and act creatively, and their will to serve.
Lead our steps to those who are thus suffering, and make
us a source of refreshment to the bruised and weary. In
Jesus’ name, Amen.
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